


KNB TFLN

by merycula (thanksillpass)



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - College/University, Halloween, M/M, Rimming, Strippers & Strip Clubs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-14
Updated: 2014-05-18
Packaged: 2018-01-24 20:17:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1615760
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thanksillpass/pseuds/merycula
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>texts from last night for kurobasu</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> MidoTaka - (415):Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.

Takao  _knew_  crashing that party was a  _brilliant_  idea. He wasn’t technically a university student, but he was their age and all, so it wasn’t like he hadn’t anything to talk about with those people. He refused to believe that  _university_  was the only subject on such events, and he hadn’t been wrong! He was having the time of his life - pleasantly tipsy and currently _kicking ass_  at beer pong, surrounded by an excited crowd.

That was, of course, until some guy decided to step out of the crowd and invade his personal space. Kazunari disliked him from the first glance. He was freakishly tall, his haircut was weird, his fingers taped for some unfathomable reason, and he was wearing  _glasses_ , ew. Takao was guessing law. Or medicine, maybe. Something boring and disgustingly lucrative like that.

“What’s your sign?” the guy asked suddenly and kinda rudely, too, if you asked him.

Kazunari blinked. “My what?”

“Zodiac sign.”

Ah, a man of few words, Takao’s personal favorite. He shrugged, muttering his answer reluctantly, and took a stance.

“You’re doing it wrong.”

Takao instinctively straightened up and turned around to face the guy, narrowing his eyes at him. Carrot (Kazunari decided to call him that because of his hideous orange sweater and because his weirdly-cut hair looked kinda green in that light) was looking at him with an impassive expression.

“Doing what wrong?” Takao decided to humor him.

“Everything.”

Kazunari laughed happily at the answer; at least Carrot was funny. “I must be doing _something_  right, just look at all those fans!”

He motioned the crowd with his hand and winked playfully at some random girl who promptly scoffed and turned around. Just his luck… He was prepared to defend his high-spec boyfriend honor with a long lecture about the completely ungrounded superiority university students seemed to have, but Carrot didn’t laugh. He didn’t even snigger – just kept looking at Takao.

“Your feet are too wide apart, knees bent too low, and your shoulders are too stiff,” he stated, adjusting his glasses. “Fix that,” he added, and turned around to walk away.

As for Takao, he was sort of stunned? The sudden dryness in his mouth suggested that he might have been gaping for some time before snapping back to reality.

“Why are you telling me this?!” he shouted into the crowd.

Carrot stopped mid-step and craned his neck to look at Kazunari. “I want you to improve,” he said, like it was the most obvious thing in the entire world.

“Yeah, but why?”

“Our signs are compatible,” he explained with a stiff nod and continued to walk away.

And that? That was absolutely  _the_  weirdest answer Kazunari had ever heard, and he’d asked some pretty weird questions in his life. So naturally, he dropped everything in his hands on the table and followed Carrot, laughing gleefully.

What could he say? Once his interest had been piqued, Takao Kazunari was a total  _goner_.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> KagaKuro - (415):I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.

Kuroko decided that a Halloween party was a terrible idea not because he was opposed to novelty. No, years of experience was speaking through him. He knew human nature, he knew his friends, he knew himself – a bad idea. He purposefully hadn’t picked a costume; he wanted to be comfortable in his jeans and sweatshirt when he was running from the police, or something of the sort.

He was slowly getting impatient with Kagami-kun’s tardiness, when he heard an engine in the distance and soon saw his boyfriend on a scooter, wearing an American flag as a cape. Interesting, to be polite. Incredibly obnoxious, to be truthful.

“Why aren’t you wearing a costume?!” demanded Kagami, getting off the scooter and walking over to him.

“I am. I’m a ghost.”

Kagami barked out a laugh and leaned in to peck Kuroko on the lips. “One day you’re gonna realize you’re not as funny as you think.”

“It will probably be the day when you stop laughing at my jokes,” said Kuroko fondly. “And who, pray tell, are you supposed to be dressed as, Kagami-kun?”

Kagami placed his hands on his hips and puffed his chest proudly. “Freedom!”

Kuroko’s lips twitched with the urge to chuckle, but he wasn’t going to give in.

“You know you want to laugh, come on,” whined Kagami. “It’s  _hilarious!_ ”

“To Izuki-senpai, perhaps,” deadpanned Kuroko. “As for me, I am ashamed to be seen in your company.”

Kagami rolled his eyes but grinned, leaning in for a kiss again. Kuroko could tell how excited and  _happy_  he was for the party. It made him feel a bit guilty for putting a damper on it with his fatalistic expectations.

“Man,” shouted Kagami excitedly as he grabbed Kuroko’s hand to drag him to the scooter. “I’m so pumped up for this! I haven’t been to a Halloween party since middle school and that was, you know, a different kind of parties back then. I can say  _a lot_  about Kise, but he’s generous, I’ll give him that.”

Kuroko smiled. “Yes. I wonder what costume Kise-kun decided to wear. What do you think, Kagami-kun? Will it be a slutty nurse or a slutty flight attendant?”

Kagami groaned in horror and Kuroko had to fight the urge to let his smile grow wider. Just because he decided not to voice his own complaints, it didn’t mean he wasn’t going to tease his boyfriend to improve his own mood – that would be simply counter-productive.

“What about Ahomine?” asked Kagami teasingly, mounting the scooter and waiting for Kuroko to sit behind him. “You think he and Momoi come dressed as a horse?”

This time, Kuroko chuckled freely – Kagami-kun’s enthusiasm must have been affecting him. He wrapped his arms tightly around his boyfriend’s middle and pressed a kiss on his back, before resting his chin between his shoulder blades.

“As much as I would like to see that, I highly doubt that Momoi-san will pass up the opportunity to dress as a calculator.”

“You’re joking, right?”

“Am I?”

Kagami’s petulant grumble was drowned by the engine and Kuroko smiled again, angling his head to press his cheek to Kagami’s back. He could hear Kagami’s booming voice pretty well, but he really wished he hadn’t when his boyfriend asked him jokingly if there were any  _slutty_  calculator costumes. He sighed deeply, resisting the urge to jab Kagami in the ribs for the sake of reaching their destination alive.

That party was a terrible idea, really. But Kagami’s laughter, re-vibrating through his body, made Kuroko think that, maybe, some bad ideas weren’t so bad at all.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AoSaku - (727): Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow.

“So how was it?”

“Great!” Sakurai immediately blurted out.

Even to his own ears it sounded insincere, but Aomine-san’s voice was entirely too small for his liking.

“That was… a _really_ fast response…” said Aomine suspiciously, propping himself on his arm and peering down at him.

“Because that was _really_ great,” assured Ryou, nodding vehemently.

It really wasn’t. It was everything but. He couldn’t tell Aomine-san _that_ …

“You’re not doing it again, right?”

“Doing what?” squeaked Sakurai, inconspicuously avoiding eye contact.

“You know, the same thing you did when I gave you the worse blowjob in history of ever and you said it was amaaaazing, and then you gave _me_ a blowjob and I had no choice but to realize I did literally everything wrong.”

“No!”

Aomine sighed, flopping down on the pillows. “You’re doing it again. Damn it.”

“I’m sorry!” cried Ryou, hiding his face in his hands. “I’m sorry! I just don’t know how to tell you these things! I’m so sorry!”

He could hear Aomine scoff and he wanted to die. He was the worst, the least supportive boyfriend to ever boyfriend. He couldn’t even look Aomine-san in the eye. He could feel his breath getting more and more labored with every intake. He was about to give in to the panic when a warm hand took his to pry it off his heated face.

“Hey,” muttered Aomine, forcing Sakurai to meet his eyes.

“I’m sorry,” repeated Ryou weakly.

Aomine smirked. “Don’t be sorry, dumbass. Show me.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> KiKasa - (215): Everyone says I win the strip club.

Kasamatsu hated his life. Going to a fucking  _strip club_  to celebrate graduation was a stupid and pointless idea – seeing as he was, well, totally gay – but he thought it would be at least  _safe_ ; for the same reason it was stupid and pointless. He expected to make a fool out of himself whenever a girl approached them, his pride be damned, what was alcohol for. What he didn’t expect was, however, to end up with a stiffy at a place that offered virtually no temptation to him.

“You  _can’t,_ ” said Moriyama and that’s when it all started.

Kise, that  _idiot,_  smirked mischievously and said, “Watch me, senpai.”

Yukio really didn’t want to watch. He knew he didn’t as soon as the brat approached the manager. Sure, the man outright refused, but when  _all_  the dancers – charmed by the way Kise  _breathed_ , or something – insisted on letting him do it, there was no escape.

 _Of course_  Kise could perfectly copy even exotic dance moves. Of course. Not that Kasamatsu was watching but Kise must have been pretty good at it, judging by the fact he wasn’t, well, booed off the stage by the audience consisting solely of men. Yukio would go as far as to say Kise’s dance brought upon several sexual awakenings even, if expressions on some of the patron’s faces were anything to go by. What? Kasamatsu had to look at  _something!_

“I can’t believe he actually  _can,_ ” said Moriyama in awe suddenly.

In  _awe,_  mind you. Moriyama was in awe of a  _man._  With a  _dick._  How was Yukio supposed to _not_  look then?

And once he looked, there was no averting his eyes. It was physically impossible to take his eyes off of Kise, of his strong legs wrapped around the pole, and yeah… there it was. Awkward boner achievement unlocked, and Kise didn’t lose even one article of clothing. If Yukio could high-five himself without appearing insane to his teammates, he would.

“Someone make him stop,” he whined, still unable to stop watching, but hoping his teammates would interpret his agony as embarrassment.

Hayakawa slapped him on back so hard he almost head-butted the table. “KASAMATSU SENPAI!” he boomed with a happy laugh. “IT’S FOL YOU! PREASE, ROOK CROSERY! IT’S A VELY LALE OCCASION!!!”

“Shut the fuck up, idiot!” hissed Yukio,  _finally_  looking away. “Everyone is staring! Fuck, I’m not drunk enough for this.”

“He’s right, though,” said Moriyama, causing Kasamatsu to choke on his drink. “He may be an obnoxious and over-excited idiot with no mouth-to-brain filter,” he continued pointedly, jabbing Hayakawa in the forehead with every word, “but he speaks the truth. Our ace over there  _is_  dancing for you.”

Yukio wanted nothing more than to  _die_ , right there and then. Not because of those absolutely  _ridiculous_  allegations, but because, apparently, his team had been perfectly aware of his sexual leanings all along. After the initial shock, he gratefully accepted the fact that they clearly didn’t mind, and he could freely proceed to whacking them both on their heads; Nakamura and Kobori too, just in case.

“You’re fucking delirious. What he is dancing  _for_  are approximately twenty three phone numbers from  _strippers_ he will get!”

Moriyama squawked indignantly, clutching at his chest. “Yuki-chan, how  _can_  you! Those goddesses among mortals are  _entertainers!_ ”

Kasamatsu rolled his eyes just as a round of applause echoed through the club. Fucking applause, goddammit. Kise was ridiculous and Yukio hated his  _guts_. He sure hoped he _looked_  hateful when Kise finally returned to their table – all flushed and sweaty and smiling awkwardly at Moriyama’s catcalls and Hayakawa’s excited rambling – because he had to distract Kise’s attention from his boner  _somehow._

Especially as Kise sat next to him, looking at him expectantly.

“What?” he spat out, hoping the club was dark enough to conceal his blush.

Kise pouted, unsurprisingly. “What do you mean senpai?,” he whined. “How was I? Did I do good?”

“Ask Moriyama, he’s the expert,” he mumbled, angling away from Kise, who was practically _in_  his lap at that point.

“But I want to know what you think!”

“Come on, Kasamatsu, praise him,” teased Kobori. “That may be the last chance you’ll get.”

Yukio knew it was supposed to be a joke, but his face fell immediately. Right, it  _was_  their graduation party. He resented the invisible grip on his throat that the realization caused; so much he wasn’t even glad it also caused his boner to fade in ten seconds flat.

He fucking  _graduated._  No more yelling at Kise, no more kicking his ass, no more watching him play, no more… Kise in general. And that was fucking depressing as fuck. But those were thoughts for another day…

“Yeah, you did good,” he muttered and braced himself for Kise’s delighted, over-the-top reaction.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> HimuKaga - (734): I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> gen. slight-ish AU where they don’t have a dramatic falling out over a game leading them to having a tense, emotion-heavy, dramatic, competitive, love-hate relationship.

Taiga blinked slowly at his phone and reread the message from Tatsuya but it was the same after the second, third and fourth reading. He sighed and let his head flop back down onto the pillow. It was late and he was too tired to deal with Tatsuya’s identity crisis. Still, he decided to reply in case his best friend was, as Taiga suspected, completely drunk and willing sneak into his house after being ignored.

“Ambitious,” he typed.

Predictably, his phone rang mere seconds after he sent the text and Taiga couldn’t hold back a groan before picking up.

“High school is awesome,” blurted out Tatsuya immediately.

Taiga rolled his eyes, half-regretting his friend couldn’t see it. “Are you trying to change my mind about going to Japan again?”

“Not everything is about you, brat. Do what you want, I wouldn’t want you hanging around me in school anyway.”

Tatsuya was clearly lying but Taiga had to appreciate the fact he was doing his best to convince them both that he was completely fine with Taiga moving away. Obviously, they were both pretty upset about it, since they’ve always been a package deal and Taiga half-expected them to stay together for the rest of their natural lives.

“Anyway,” continued Tatsuya in a casual tone. “I think I may be slightly less straight than I initially thought?”

Taiga groaned. “Is this the part where I make gagging noises?”

“No, that comes when I tell you how it feels to hold another guy’s dick in your hand.”

Taiga didn’t even have to pretend making those gagging noises. Not that he had any problem with gay sex in particular – he just really didn’t want to imagine Tatsuya having _any_ kind of sex. It was just wrong on too many levels; they were like brothers and thinking about him having sex was like thinking about his _parents_ having sex.

“Dude, you promised!” he whined. “It’s gross, I don’t wanna hear it!”

“You’re fifteen, not _five!_ And it’s not even that big of a deal anyway. It’s basically like touching your own dick. Only different, because it’s not your dick. Obviously. And it wasn’t really all that _good_ or anything but it wasn’t _bad_ either, so I guess I could… check it out. Dicks I mean. Could be fun, right?”

Taiga’s only response was letting out some wounded animal’s noise and Tatsuya clicked his tongue in irritation.

“My life is changing before your eyes, you could try to be a bit more excited about it!”

Taiga sighed softly. He knew this whole conversation was less about the actual subject and more about the talking part. He understood that Tatsuya felt like he was _losing_ him and tried to spend as much time together as they possibly could, as if to make up for the time they would surely lose after Taiga left. He really wanted to somehow prove to Tatsuya that nothing would change between them but there was no way to do that. Because things _would_ change and all he could do was to go along with his friend’s method of coping.

“So did you, ugh- Can’t believe I’m asking this… Did you like it? Or something…”

“Oh, Taiga, my heart swells when you try being a real boy for my sake!”

Taiga let out an undignified grunt of protest that was immediately drowned out by Tatsuyas gleeful laughter. He smiled despite himself and didn’t even interrupt Tatsuya’s usual lecture about the dangers, both physical and mental, of being an absolute basketball idiot.

“Seriously,” groaned Tatsuya when he finished. “I hope Japanese girls – or boys! I’m _very_ open to possibilities as of today – will find you exciting and exotic or something like that and _someone_ will finally make you think of something else than basketball.”

“Why do you even care,” grumbled Taiga petulantly.

“Because if I’m not there with you, you’ll die sad and alone! I need to know someone will take care of you there!”

Taiga’s brow twitched; Tatsuya was way too over-dramatic for his own good and he really was exaggerating. But he suspected his friend was only half-joking and he really worried about him. It comforted him and angered at the same time – it wasn’t like Taiga was in any hurry to replace Tatsuya anyway. He didn’t _want_ new friends, let alone girlfriends.

“I’ll be fine, you know,” he said seriously. “I mean, it _will_ suck without you, but- I’ll be okay.”

Tatsuya chuckled only a little bit sadly. “I know you will, little bro... You’re gonna go there and win Koushien or whatever they have there.”

“That’s baseball, you idiot!”

Tatsuya laughed loudly and promptly changed the subject to the original one, for which Taiga was surprisingly _grateful._ Completely losing himself in talking excitedly, Tatsuya gave Taiga the opportunity to put the phone on the pillow and finally drift off to sleep.


End file.
